So, I just finished up Klosterman's latest, Eating the Dinosaur. I've been a big fan of his since I first picked up Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, but I have to say, he's definitely slipping. Even after several very good reviews from some friends, I'd still only rate his latest installment at a C+. I mean, there was only one “motherfucker” in the whole book! I silently wonder if marriage has put his creative side into a writer's block-induced coma.
Anyway, there was one section in particular that salvaged his grade from a D: the section on laugh tracks. Legitimately so, Klosterman points out that he thinks laugh tracks are subtly ruining our inner thought processes. You know, laugh tracks. That annoying clip of people from the 1970s laughing hysterically that sitcoms play in precarious situations when the audience is supposed to laugh. Prime examples of this are: Married with Children, Two and a Half Men, and The Beverly Hillbillies (to name a few). Why were we expected to laugh every time Peggy Bundy squealed, “Aaaaaaaaaaaaal”? I have no idea.
Are television shows “smarter” for not using a pre-recorded laugh track as filler (think: The Office [from both sides of the pond], Arrested Development, It's Always Sunny, Flight of the Conchords, etc.)? Klosterman references the fact that these non-laugh track using programs allow the viewer to insert his or her own “funny” wherever (s)he wants. I prefer this type of program to the barrage of verbal dysentery we're spoon-fed from most shows that use laugh tracks.
By now, you're probably asking yourself why I decided to blog about this. Well, apply this theory into your own personal life. How many times have you inserted your own pre-recorded laugh track into an awkward conversation to fill that void? It's ridiculous to think about, but I'm sure we're all guilty of chuckling our way into idiocy.
I think from now on (at work, especially), I plan to just offer a half-assed smile to someone expecting polite laughter after something I don't find funny is said. And Klosterman, I expect more “motherfuckers” next time.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
That Billy Joel Was On To Something
"Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing: Gary Coleman is going to drown." - Conan O'Brien
This post is in response to a dear friend's recent post on Facebook regarding global warming.
Oh, Al Gore. I (or anyone else) can't reasonably deny the fact that our world is getting warmer. Truth be told, the world has been warming itself since the last ice age. My opinion on the matter is, this whole thing does not have a whole hell of a lot to do with science. Rather, it's a product of environmental activism.
Oh, Al Gore. CO2 emissions, CO2 productions, greenhouse effect (I'd like to add that without the greenhouse effect, our planet would be uninhabitable), etc. I agree that Anthropogenic factors such as our complete reliance on things that produce insane amounts of pollution don't help our planet, but I honestly don't think CO2 release into the atmosphere has anything to do with the climate change debate. CO2 is a non-toxic, non-polluting, earth-friendly component that really is critical to our survival. Man-made CO2 doesn't appear to be physically capable of absorbing much more than 2,000ths of the radiated heat passing upward through the atmosphere (see diagram below). Also, if all the available heat in that spectrum is, indeed, being captured by the current CO2 levels before leaving the atmosphere, then adding more CO2 to the atmosphere won't matter a bit.
So, Beth. What about the undeniable reality that our planet is getting warmer? I'm glad you asked. First, I'd like to direct you to my old pal www.spaceweather.com (this isn't the first time I've referenced this Web site). After clickity-clicking your way around, you may realize this truth: the current warming solar cycle is just about over. Global temperatures have been generally flat for the past 8 years. If we should be worrying about anything, I'd say we should consider our lives in the midst of the ever-looming cooling cycle!
Oh, Al Gore. Al Gore tells us that the Greenland ice cap is melting/thinning/been cast under the magical spell of “global warming”. What he fails to mention is that a newly discovered volcanic hot spot may be a contributor, along with the warming on the coast due to warmer waters coming up the gulf stream. In general, growing glaciers are out-pacing melting glaciers by a good margin. Nothing like cherry-picking an isolated example to create panic, Al.
In closing, I would like to leave you with some light reading: http://scienceandpublicpolicy.org/monckton/goreerrors.html
Oh, Al Gore. You little mynx.
This post is in response to a dear friend's recent post on Facebook regarding global warming.
Oh, Al Gore. I (or anyone else) can't reasonably deny the fact that our world is getting warmer. Truth be told, the world has been warming itself since the last ice age. My opinion on the matter is, this whole thing does not have a whole hell of a lot to do with science. Rather, it's a product of environmental activism.
Oh, Al Gore. CO2 emissions, CO2 productions, greenhouse effect (I'd like to add that without the greenhouse effect, our planet would be uninhabitable), etc. I agree that Anthropogenic factors such as our complete reliance on things that produce insane amounts of pollution don't help our planet, but I honestly don't think CO2 release into the atmosphere has anything to do with the climate change debate. CO2 is a non-toxic, non-polluting, earth-friendly component that really is critical to our survival. Man-made CO2 doesn't appear to be physically capable of absorbing much more than 2,000ths of the radiated heat passing upward through the atmosphere (see diagram below). Also, if all the available heat in that spectrum is, indeed, being captured by the current CO2 levels before leaving the atmosphere, then adding more CO2 to the atmosphere won't matter a bit.
So, Beth. What about the undeniable reality that our planet is getting warmer? I'm glad you asked. First, I'd like to direct you to my old pal www.spaceweather.com (this isn't the first time I've referenced this Web site). After clickity-clicking your way around, you may realize this truth: the current warming solar cycle is just about over. Global temperatures have been generally flat for the past 8 years. If we should be worrying about anything, I'd say we should consider our lives in the midst of the ever-looming cooling cycle!
Oh, Al Gore. Al Gore tells us that the Greenland ice cap is melting/thinning/been cast under the magical spell of “global warming”. What he fails to mention is that a newly discovered volcanic hot spot may be a contributor, along with the warming on the coast due to warmer waters coming up the gulf stream. In general, growing glaciers are out-pacing melting glaciers by a good margin. Nothing like cherry-picking an isolated example to create panic, Al.
In closing, I would like to leave you with some light reading: http://scienceandpublicpolicy.org/monckton/goreerrors.html
Oh, Al Gore. You little mynx.
Monday, February 8, 2010
You Are Here
"It's no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party." - High Fidelity
With very few exceptions, this has always proven to be true in my experience. Though I am a firm believer in celebrating diversity as much inside of a group as outside of it, music, movies, and reading material are some of the defining factors that really tell you a lot about someone. For me, anyway.
High Fidelity is one of my favorite movies. It pretty much sums up my existence in three words: top five lists. When meeting someone for the first time, I've been known to bombard the poor, unsuspecting party with a slew of top five list-style questions. I'd say, on average, the most popular always come back to 'top five movies of all time?' 'top five authors of all time?' and 'top five bands/artists/groups of all time?' I know it's going to be difficult for me to argue that I'm not judgemental after I say this, but, I can tell almost instantly if I'll like someone or not by which movies, books, and musical tastes (s)he has.
Try it. The next time you're out and find yourself meeting new people, try to not scoff when they answer your queries. Try to not smirk when Orlando tells you he's been “really into Kanye West lately, but Nickelback will always be number one” and thinks “Catwoman really showed Halle Berry's range.” Try.
I'm guilty of changing up my top five answers depending on my mood. I'll say, though, that the top 3 spots in each series of lists are staples (eg: my top 3 bands/groups/artists are always Metallica, Yes, and Led Zeppelin – the bottom two tend to change depending on my mood). I do rotate between a sublist of other bottom-of-the-list staples. You never thought summarizing your life into top five lists could be so demanding and intricate, did you? The last choice, that elusive fifth spot, is always the most burdensome and problematic. It's also usually the most rewarding.
If you want me to judge you, and I will, leave examples of your top five lists.
You are, indeed, here.
With very few exceptions, this has always proven to be true in my experience. Though I am a firm believer in celebrating diversity as much inside of a group as outside of it, music, movies, and reading material are some of the defining factors that really tell you a lot about someone. For me, anyway.
High Fidelity is one of my favorite movies. It pretty much sums up my existence in three words: top five lists. When meeting someone for the first time, I've been known to bombard the poor, unsuspecting party with a slew of top five list-style questions. I'd say, on average, the most popular always come back to 'top five movies of all time?' 'top five authors of all time?' and 'top five bands/artists/groups of all time?' I know it's going to be difficult for me to argue that I'm not judgemental after I say this, but, I can tell almost instantly if I'll like someone or not by which movies, books, and musical tastes (s)he has.
Try it. The next time you're out and find yourself meeting new people, try to not scoff when they answer your queries. Try to not smirk when Orlando tells you he's been “really into Kanye West lately, but Nickelback will always be number one” and thinks “Catwoman really showed Halle Berry's range.” Try.
I'm guilty of changing up my top five answers depending on my mood. I'll say, though, that the top 3 spots in each series of lists are staples (eg: my top 3 bands/groups/artists are always Metallica, Yes, and Led Zeppelin – the bottom two tend to change depending on my mood). I do rotate between a sublist of other bottom-of-the-list staples. You never thought summarizing your life into top five lists could be so demanding and intricate, did you? The last choice, that elusive fifth spot, is always the most burdensome and problematic. It's also usually the most rewarding.
If you want me to judge you, and I will, leave examples of your top five lists.
You are, indeed, here.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Somebody Had to Say It
It might as well be me.
My political affiliations rest somewhere in the middle of the road. Before starting my current job, it would have been safe to call me a complete left wing nut job. The distinction isn't quite so cut and dry anymore. I think now, my views are leaning more toward tip toeing into the dark underbelly of just to the right of the fence. Why? Because people are lying, manipulative, lazy assholes.
Somebody had to say it.
Without going too far into the history of mental health treatment in this country, I think no one can argue the fact that it's more widely accepted to talk about mental illness than it was in the past. People can actually get treatment for their brain's mis-fires without being committed into the loony bin? Why, yes. They can. For this, I guess we should be grateful. For those who have legitimate issues they need to work through, this is a good step in the right direction. The stigma may even, dare I say, be gone (in my neck of the woods, at least)?
With my cultural anthropological training, I've always enjoyed studying specific microcosms of cultures. I just never thought I'd be working with a population of ungrateful people who are so lazy, insincere, manipulative, lying pricks who want everything for nothing.
Somebody had to say it.
With the plethora of examples I could use here, I'll go with the one that most frequently happens. Close your eyes. Let me take you on a magical journey into Nutterland.
“Access Center, this is Beth, how can I help you?”
“Yes, I'm calling because I have a 4 year old who needs medication. He's out of control.”
“OK, ma'am. What's his diagnosis? What are some of his symptoms? Has he been treated in the past?”
“Well, when he doesn't get his way, he throws a fit and cries and cries and cries. He'll throw his toys around the room and push his brother. He screams and just throws a fit. I think he's bipolar.”
“Yeah, I think so, too. Sounds like your 4 year old is bipolar because he throws a fit when he doesn't get his way. It's completely unheard of that a child would act out when he's told 'no'. Actually, ma'am, what I'm trying to say is you're a lazy parent who wants a zombie child instead of a child who expresses emotion like a normal person. Parenting your child is tough, huh? Do yourself a favor and pull your bottom lip over your head and swallow.”
Somebody had to say it. OK, this time I didn't actually say that, but mannn, would I like to.
What's all this have to do with being liberal or conservative? Well, the place I work is state funded, so we give discounts to those families who need the help with their fees. I am completely for this concept, as long as we're helping the right people, and not those who are just too lazy to want to help themselves. More often than not, the people who call me are rejects from The City who have brought their litter of children here with them to mooch off of our state's Obama bucks. 75% of the time, these people can't even tell me why they receive disability checks. Oh, you get your free money for being a lazy, promiscuous parent who lies to clinicians to get your child diagnosed with something to help fund your drug habits? OK, sweet.
Somebody had to say it.
Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. I realize not everyone getting help from the government is a lazy moocher. I'm simply stating that the people I work with on a daily basis, for the most part, DO. They can continue to live in nearly free housing, get food stamps for their single-parented family of 9, get cash assistance from the state, free health care, and disability checks for imaginary disabilities their children have. It's the American dream! Why should they have to change when their mentality is 'buy what you want, beg for what you need'? I can just imagine being a kid and growing up in such an environment. Why would these kids ever feel the need to do anything productive with themselves? They're taught from a young age to do nothing, and it's OK because you can always get free money if you lie.
Somebody had to say it.
Lastly, what is this new-found fascination with wanting to label your kids? Why do parents want to label their kids with a mental health diagnosis? These poor kids are going to live the rest of their lives thinking they're depressed, bipolar, ADHD, etc. If they actually have an issue, then by all means, parents... get it treated! Stop labeling your kids with something so you can feel special about your mediocre kid being... well, mediocre and normal. Why not exert that problem-finding energy into actually parenting your kid? Why not involve yourself into your kids' lives?
Somebody had to say it.
My political affiliations rest somewhere in the middle of the road. Before starting my current job, it would have been safe to call me a complete left wing nut job. The distinction isn't quite so cut and dry anymore. I think now, my views are leaning more toward tip toeing into the dark underbelly of just to the right of the fence. Why? Because people are lying, manipulative, lazy assholes.
Somebody had to say it.
Without going too far into the history of mental health treatment in this country, I think no one can argue the fact that it's more widely accepted to talk about mental illness than it was in the past. People can actually get treatment for their brain's mis-fires without being committed into the loony bin? Why, yes. They can. For this, I guess we should be grateful. For those who have legitimate issues they need to work through, this is a good step in the right direction. The stigma may even, dare I say, be gone (in my neck of the woods, at least)?
With my cultural anthropological training, I've always enjoyed studying specific microcosms of cultures. I just never thought I'd be working with a population of ungrateful people who are so lazy, insincere, manipulative, lying pricks who want everything for nothing.
Somebody had to say it.
With the plethora of examples I could use here, I'll go with the one that most frequently happens. Close your eyes. Let me take you on a magical journey into Nutterland.
“Access Center, this is Beth, how can I help you?”
“Yes, I'm calling because I have a 4 year old who needs medication. He's out of control.”
“OK, ma'am. What's his diagnosis? What are some of his symptoms? Has he been treated in the past?”
“Well, when he doesn't get his way, he throws a fit and cries and cries and cries. He'll throw his toys around the room and push his brother. He screams and just throws a fit. I think he's bipolar.”
“Yeah, I think so, too. Sounds like your 4 year old is bipolar because he throws a fit when he doesn't get his way. It's completely unheard of that a child would act out when he's told 'no'. Actually, ma'am, what I'm trying to say is you're a lazy parent who wants a zombie child instead of a child who expresses emotion like a normal person. Parenting your child is tough, huh? Do yourself a favor and pull your bottom lip over your head and swallow.”
Somebody had to say it. OK, this time I didn't actually say that, but mannn, would I like to.
What's all this have to do with being liberal or conservative? Well, the place I work is state funded, so we give discounts to those families who need the help with their fees. I am completely for this concept, as long as we're helping the right people, and not those who are just too lazy to want to help themselves. More often than not, the people who call me are rejects from The City who have brought their litter of children here with them to mooch off of our state's Obama bucks. 75% of the time, these people can't even tell me why they receive disability checks. Oh, you get your free money for being a lazy, promiscuous parent who lies to clinicians to get your child diagnosed with something to help fund your drug habits? OK, sweet.
Somebody had to say it.
Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. I realize not everyone getting help from the government is a lazy moocher. I'm simply stating that the people I work with on a daily basis, for the most part, DO. They can continue to live in nearly free housing, get food stamps for their single-parented family of 9, get cash assistance from the state, free health care, and disability checks for imaginary disabilities their children have. It's the American dream! Why should they have to change when their mentality is 'buy what you want, beg for what you need'? I can just imagine being a kid and growing up in such an environment. Why would these kids ever feel the need to do anything productive with themselves? They're taught from a young age to do nothing, and it's OK because you can always get free money if you lie.
Somebody had to say it.
Lastly, what is this new-found fascination with wanting to label your kids? Why do parents want to label their kids with a mental health diagnosis? These poor kids are going to live the rest of their lives thinking they're depressed, bipolar, ADHD, etc. If they actually have an issue, then by all means, parents... get it treated! Stop labeling your kids with something so you can feel special about your mediocre kid being... well, mediocre and normal. Why not exert that problem-finding energy into actually parenting your kid? Why not involve yourself into your kids' lives?
Somebody had to say it.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
New Blog!
Ahhh, nothing like the smell of a freshly squeezed blog on a Thursday afternoon. Hello, internet geeks! It's Beth, and this is my new blog. Breathe it in, suck it down, and take it back, kids. Huzzah! Stay tuned for the inner workings of my deliciously twisted mind. :)
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